Parenting
My job as a parent is to keep my child emotionally and physically safe, using boundaries, validation, and empathy. I learned this from reading Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy. This discovery made me think about my own childhood.
My parents, especially my mom, were great at setting boundaries with me. The boundaries were so firm that they were made of iron. While the boundaries kept me physically safe, I don’t remember them keeping me emotionally safe. I was a sensitive kid, and I think this came from the physical enforcement of boundaries my mom used. When I did something wrong, I was often physically reprimanded. Dr. Kennedy writes that hurting or scaring your child is never okay. I agree.
My mom was very young when she had me, so I don’t want to be too tough on her for how she raised me. She did the best she knew how to do. And the fact that I’m alive and thriving in the world is a testament to the values she instilled in me.
For the past month or so I’ve done a lot of reflecting and work to heal from the not-so-great moments of my childhood. Partly because I want to improve as a person, and because I want to be a good parent.
As I write this, my daughter is 10 days old and is currently sleeping in her bassinet across from me. I started reading Good Inside because I want to be a good parent for her. For me, self-improvement often begins with educating myself through experience and reading.
When I finish this book, it will be the second book on parenting I’ve read. My hope is that through education and experience, I will effectively raise my daughter to adulthood and help her to be emotionally regulated and in a position to do whatever she wants to do in this world.
