I used to think that I was always supposed to feel good. And that whenever I experienced negative emotions, I was somehow being punished for something I did or didn’t do. I needed to know why I was feeling discomfort so that I could solve it, and never feel that way again. Eventually I learned that negative emotions are a part of life. Often it has little to do with our actions or behavior. And as much as I would like to speed up the discomfort so that I can get back to feeling good again, sometimes I just have to work through the emotions and let them take their course.
Sitting with our discomfort doesn’t mean that we let it consume us though. We can use tools to work through it. The following are tools I’ve found to be useful in working through my negative emotions.
Positive self-talk
I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say that practicing self-care is her fulltime job. Her creative pursuits are actually her part-time job.
During moments where I’ve felt my worst, and couldn’t stand to be around myself, I found it helpful to put a hand on my heart, and say to myself, “it’s okay.” It’s during these moments that I tell myself that it’s okay to feel how I’m feeling, and that I will get through it.
I found myself doing this very act this morning, which inspired me to write this piece. I recently went through a breakup, so my emotions change from moment to moment. Yesterday was not a good day for me, and this morning was challenging. I needed to remind myself that I will be okay, and that it’s appropriate to have moments of despair.
Take a walk
Movement is probably the most underrated tool for self-care. Movement gets us out of our head and into our body. I heard someone say that you can’t think your way out of a bad situation. You can only change your circumstances by taking action. It’s rare for movement to not change my mood for the better. In the moments that it doesn’t, I turn to another tool — writing.
Writing
Writing has been a perfect companion for me. Sometimes it’s journaling with a pen and paper, and other times it’s sitting in front of a screen, typing away. It’s been a way for me to sort through what’s bothering me. Most of the time, I just write what’s on my mind. If I can’t find my words, then I just write down positive affirmations like, I love myself, or I am enough.
It helps when I set a timer and commit myself to writing for at least 10 minutes. I find that this helps me to break the negative mental cycle, so that I can do something more productive like sleep or simply be a peace with myself.
In conclusion, the next time you’re experiencing negative emotions, remember to practice positive self-talk, take a walk, or take out your journal and begin to write. One or all of these tools can help you work through negative emotions without letting them take control of your life.
